Tuesday, April 22, 2008

The best of times, and the worst

Really awful, or really good, fantasy performances are like bad beats in poker: They tend to hang around with you. Forever.

Here are a few I'll never forget.

Best: Hitting

I owned Shawn Green in two leagues on May 23, 2002. My fellow member of the Tribe helped me out immensely by providing a month's worth of stats in one game: four home runs (he ended up hitting seven over three days), going 6-for-6, scoring six runs, and driving in seven.

Worst: Hitting

I used to love Geoff Jenkins, Brett Favre's long lost brother. I can remember clear as day on June 8, 2004, looking at the Milwaukee box score and realizing that he had posted an 0-for-7 with six strikeouts, leaving five on base. Six. Strikeouts. I checked to see if that was a record. It was and hasn't been equaled since.

Best: Pitching

In seven years of playing fantasy baseball, I have had three or more wins in one day only one time that I can recall. Still hung over from my birthday on May 16, 2007, I logged on to discover that my pitching staff had accrued the following:

A.J. Burnett: Nine innings, five base runners, no runs, 10 Ks, one win
John Lackey: Six innings, five base runners, no runs, four Ks, one win
Randy Wolf: Five innings, six base runners, two runs, seven Ks, one win
Jon Rauch: One inning, no base runners, two Ks, one save
Brian Fuentes: One inning, one base runner, no runs, one K, one save

That was a hell of a day.

Worst: Pitching

Opening day, 2002. I'm excited that I have three opening day starters. Unfortunately, they are Roger Clemens, Chris Carpenter, and Chan Ho Park.

They each allowed six or more runs en route to torpedoing my entire year. To make it worse, Clemens took a ball off his hand and Carpenter ended up being lost for the season. Their combined stats on opening day: 11.2 innings pitched, 31 base runners, and 20 earned runs. Their 12 Ks were a nice consolation prize.

Just imagine starting off your fantasy year with a showing like that.

Thankfully Chan Ho Park and Joe Mays were traded as part of a pending transaction, otherwise both of their dreadful seasons, and Mays's absolutely horrific April 4, 2002 start, would continue to haunt me.

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