Thursday, April 3, 2008

Fantasy Errata

-- Congratulations Brian Bannister owners; he will never have a day that good again.

-- J.J. Putz goes down, and the frenzy to the waiver to pick up ... oh my god, is this really the Seattle bullpen? I had multiple opportunities to grab Mark Lowe, and vulture-closer lover that I am, I still couldn't pull the trigger. Then again, who's the better option than Lowe? They went with Miguel Batista today, but he's a fifth starter and Lowe was unavailable. Man. This just has fantasy disaster for Putz owners, and perhaps for those who speculate on bad relievers, written all over it.

-- Tim Lincecum put himself on base via his bat, then scored what turned out to be the winning run. He also battled like hell for four innings in miserable conditions, giving up only one run and striking out four despite allowing eight baserunners. Get used to doing it all on your own, kid. The Giants did eke out an extra base hit, providing some balance to their 16 singles over the last two games. Rich Aurilia butchered an easy play on the infield and Brian Wilson was noticeably ... perturbed. Wilson looks ripped, by the way. I'm surprised he doesn't have to cover up his arm tattoos. They look pretty distracting to hitters. Sure, the Giants may only win 50 games, but not too many of them are going to be by more than three runs!

-- Houston really has a problem with AARP members. They gave Maddux a rough time, then bukkake-d all over supposedly uber-closer Trevor Hoffman's typically sterling ratios. How Hoffman has managed to keep hitters honest with his mid-80s fastball I'll never know.

-- Manny Ramirez is 100% jackass. Why he doesn't get buzzed every other time he steps to the plate is beyond me. Dude, if you're going to sit and stare at every long fly ball, at least have two out of three leave the park, okay?

-- If you're an Oliver Perez owner, would you trade him for Pedro Martinez? Neither would I. Every year you sort of have to play "spin the wheel of Oliver Perez," but I think he wants the big bucks and last season he finally sorted out some control issues.

-- Cole Hamels got screwed. Eight innings, one run, take the loss. Sometimes I really hate fantasy baseball.

-- Watching the Dodgers fumble through the ninth inning was painful. Absolutely painful. An Aurilia bobble puts a man on first. Juan Pierre then botches a bunt, and Wilson throws to second. Rafael Furcal then strikes out looking, while Pierre gets thrown out by a mile at second. Which shouldn't be surprising, considering that his stolen-base rate is actually below the percentage at which YOU SHOULD STOP STEALING! How many things can you do wrong? First, you don't give away outs with sacrifice bunts. Second, you don't have players on your team who you want to bunt. Ever. Third, Furcal must have missed the hit and run, because Pierre took a late jump and looked befuddled by the entire thing. Just completely ugly.

-- How 'bout that Rick Ankiel kid? It's way early, but he's looking like a steal.

-- Brandon Lyon owners, why is Tony Pena only owned in about one percent of fantasy leagues? You know you have a problem on your hands, and pretty soon so will everyone else. If you're striking out a guy every other inning, you're at best an average reliever. Last season was a total mirage.

-- Corey Patterson goes yard. That is an awfully friendly porch in Cincinnati ... awfully friendly. 20/35?

-- I came into the year thinking David Wright was the fourth overall pick. After watching that bomb he hit on a pitch that didn't look at all drivable, I'm thinking he might be going first within the next two years.

-- Joe Saunders: he's owned in AL only leagues, right? One more start like that, and he's owned in every league.

-- Jamie Walker pitches the eighth for Baltimore, strikes out the side on thirteen pitches. George Sherrill comes in to close, walks two batters and strikes out two, but doesn't allow a run. Baltimore should continue this trend: find Arthur Rhodes in a scrapheap somewhere, trade for J.C. Romero, and go all lefties.

-- Rich Harden is looking pretty good, isn't he? You're kicking yourself, aren't you? How could you let him slip by. Look at him dominate! You are getting sleepy ... you can't keep your eyes open ...

-- If there's an SP I whiffed on in the preseason draft guides, it's Shaun Marcum. Is he still available in your league?

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