Friday, April 4, 2008

Fantasy Errata

-- So, this Johnny Cueto kid ... pretty good. Too bad Yahoo had him unavailable until after he showed up on the radar of every fantasy owner in the sport. If you don't have the number one waiver pick or aren't willing to kneecap someone, forget it. The line is ungodly enough, but he looked utterly filthy in the highlights. It's pretty well documented that I hate all starting pitchers (even though I loved about 10 of them going into the season, including Chris Young, Cole Hamels, Javier Vazquez, Johan Santana, Oliver Perez, Jake Peavy and C.C. Sabathia). This is in part because the number of Homer Baileys that come in with big hype heavily outweigh the Jared Weavers and Dwight Goodens of the world. But you have to take a chance on Cueto if you can. If you're in a keeper league, pray that Dusty Baker has learned something.

-- How 'bout these scrappy Royals? I watched a highlight of Joakim Soria in which he broke off a nasty slurve thing that must have arced three feet. The hitter extended his bat helplessly and was rung up. Yipes.

-- Ervin Santana fucked me in about three leagues last year. To watch him go out and pitch that way on the road is pretty galling. He always had the stuff. Maybe he finally sorted things out between the ears.

-- Apparently Barry Zito is hitting about 83 with his "fastball." What is it about seven-year contracts and starting pitchers? Mike Hampton, Kevin Brown, Barry Zito ... I thought seven was supposed to be a lucky number. C.C. Sabathia is watching his free-agent contract dwindle with every Zito start, as general managers realize that they are smarter than Brian Sabean (unless they're Wayne Krivsky or Ned Colletti, in which case they're busy playing with shiny round objects and staring at brightly colored patterns). What makes this deal even worse is that the Giants also had to give up a high draft pick, as Zito was a Type-A free agent.

-- This Keppinger kid for Cincinnati is making the most of his opportunity. Need a one week fill in for Kelly Johnson? Give him a shot at MI.

-- Mike Hampton is on the DL after hurting his pectoral. I'm not a physician, but how do you do that throwing a baseball? I mean, really? I had to look up his last start. It was 2005. He'll keep wasting everyone's time until the contract runs out or gets bought out.

-- Dave Bush looks incredibly hittable at this point. Aramis Ramirez sat on a high-80s junkball and golfed it with what looked like a wrist-only swing. Bush was one of my sleepers last year, along with Ervin Santana. And Bob wonders why I'm bitter.

-- Matt Capps ... that save looked a hell of a lot shakier watching live than reading the box score. Then again, if your center fielder makes that catch you don't have to worry about that guy on third.

-- Gary Sheffield has a torn tendon in his left ring finger. Well, that doesn't sound good, but we'll have to see. I have a torn tendon in my left middle finger, and I can bend the last digit sideways somewhat close to a 90-degree angle away from the rest of the finger. It was about a year before it stopped hurting. I don't have the luxury of James Andrews hovering over me, scalpel in hand. If Sheffield has to miss a significant amount of time, I'm not sure where Detroit will find a loud-mouthed, cancerous, aging slugger to DH for them. Oh, wait ...

-- Corey Patterson looks like he'll be benched against lefties for the foreseeable future. I missed inserting Gary Matthews by about two minutes. And, of course, he homers. Make sure you're platooning Patterson.

-- How much weight did Miguel Cabrera supposedly lose? Because if it was more than five pounds, they need to go check the scale. He has a quadriceps injury, but I suspect we'll see him soon.

-- Joba Chamberlain gets a win in relief. I'm going to make a bold prediction: at least eight wins, at least five saves.


waters96 said...

I don't want to sound like a groupie, but that was a great round-up of yesterday. I'm usually not a big poster, but I just wanted to let you know. I'd like to keep you secret from my leaguemates, but if it helps you in any way to get many hits, let me know and I'll put the word out.

Meantime, keep up the great work.

Mike Bock said...

Thanks for the kind words! The goal is to have a fantasy errata column up every day, so hopefully you'll be able to enjoy stream of consciousness ramblings for the rest of the year.

Bring your leaguemates! I won't mind.