Only one splash-shot home run and a solo stolen base? That qualifies as a disappointment.
This just in from the Houston Chronicle:
HOUSTON -- 12:08 PM EDT: Lance Berkman's results from a random MLB drug test were leaked to the media today. The specifics of what was found were not immediately disclosed, but it was revealed that over sixteen patent applications for athletic enhancing compounds had been filed, and less happily, two researchers had been hospitalized due to "mental stress." They both were heard repeatedly muttering "My God, it's full of stars" while examining Berkman urine.