Monday, June 2, 2008

Where's a laundry cart to kick when you need one?

Everybody and their fantasy-baseball-playing mother thought this was the week Ollie Perez would get back on track. After all, he had the light-hitting Giants tonight before facing the Padres in pitcher-friendly Petco this weekend. I started him in my weekly lineup money league with confidence.

And, as usual, Ollie has repaid me in tears. Tonight Ollie made those light-hitting Giants look like the '27 Yankees. Actually, a better description would be like the '27 Yankees if Gehrig, Ruth and company had access to Jose Canseco's "special" medicine cabinet.

Perez's migraine-inducing first inning went like this: home run, ground out, double, single, walk, double, home run, walk ... and then he was pulled. Final line -- one-fucking-third of an inning, five hits, six earned runs. That's an ERA of 162. Please note there's no decimal point in that number. Also note that I have lost all patience with Ollie and will now be cutting him in all leagues.

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