Sunday, June 8, 2008

You go to hell, saves; you go to hell and you die

Our very own Mike Bock advises to never pay for saves, but I've concluded that I'm just no good at getting them for free. So if I get to play in this bloggers league again next year, I'm paying for them. I'll draft guys too high. I'll draft three closers in a row. I really don't give a shit -- anything to avoid the mess I've made of my fantasy bullpen this year.

Just a few days ago, I talked about Mike Gonzalez likely being Atlanta's next closer, but because roster spots are at a premium, because Gonzalez wasn't even back from rehab yet, because Soriano was starting to look pretty good in his last few outings -- I never picked Gonzo up. But another team did. (It was that rat bastard Edwin Van Bibber-Orr from And then, on Friday, Soriano dropped the in-retrospect-least-surprising-bombshell-ever on Bobby Cox and his fantasy owners -- his arm was hurting again. The tendinitis was back. Just like that, my Atlanta-closer quagmire was upgraded to a full-blown catastrophe. I think Soriano is done. And not done for the season, I'm talking done forever -- like Belloq was done after the ark made his head go kablooey. Gonzalez will now definitely be the guy there assuming he can stay healthy ... and I don't even own him after carrying Soriano and Acosta along like so much dead weight for most of the season.

Meanwhile, I was all over the Brewers' closer situation before Gagne even got hurt. I had Mota and Torres on my roster, knowing full well the end was coming for Gagne, who was blowing save after save. But the end didn't come as quickly as I'd hoped, and at some point, I needed a roster spot. It looked like Mota was going to be the guy so I cut Torres ... who now plays for another fantasy team (curse you, Razzball's Rudy Gamble!), has five saves and win since becoming closer, has yet to give up a run over that span and will likely keep the job even when Gagne comes back.

End result: my bloggers-league roster only features one reliable closer -- Saito -- who's actually not reliable at all because he never gets any save opportunities. (Thank you, Los Angeles. Now kindly go fuck yourselves.) I have 14 saves, which is good for the two in that category and 14 less than the guy with the four. (That's right, the guy with four measly points has doubled me in total saves.) What's the point in carrying on? It will only bring more tears. So the hell with saves. I've already dumped stolen bases. (Fourteen behind the guy with two points in steals; kindly go fuck yourself, Eric Byrnes.) Why not dump another? Let's see how high a team can finish with only eight viable categories. We'll call it an experiment in the name of fantasy-baseball science. Yeah ... it's a research project, not an unmitigated roto-disaster. That sounds nice.

By the way, here are the current bloggers league standings ...

1. Roto Authority 89.5
2. Fantasy Baseball Mafia 81.5
3. RotoRob 79.5
4. MVN (1) 77
5. Razzball 71
6. Fantasy Gameday 65.5
7. Fake Teams 65
8. Rotonomics 63.5
9. MVN (2) 62
10. Fantasy Hurler 43.5
11. Crooked Pitch 41
12. Brock for Broglio 41


Edwin said...

I have hit a major fantasy baseball lull, and my Writer's League team has been pretty garbage. Haven't been posting at all over on Seamless. Thanks for the name drop, though - hope all is well.

Sam said...

I drafted only Izzy who has worse hips than my 95 year old aunt and then but Torres (pre saves)to hold on to that retard Homer Bailey. WTF?