Monday, October 13, 2008

Pujols goes under the knife

Albert Pujols had surgery done on his troublous right elbow today, although it wasn't the Tommy John surgery he actually needs but refuses to get because he can post MVP numbers even with an elbow that doesn't quite work properly. According to the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, doctors instead decompressed and relocated the ulnar nerve in his right elbow. Where it was relocated to wasn't specified, but I'm gonna guess Troy Glaus' neck. That fits nicely with my pet theory that the reason guys like Ryan Ludwick and Rick Ankiel come from nowhere to smash tons of home runs is because St. Louis team doctors have been taking parts of Albert Pujols for years and transplanting them to other Cardinal players. (It also explains why Phat Albert has to play in pain every season.) Look for more of this on an upcoming Fringe/SportsCenter crossover event.

Meanwhile, I will continue not drafting Albert Pujols. This medical house of cards will collapse at some point.

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